204[x 3CLIP2E[x CHINWEN HUIYI LINQI MR WU PEARLYNN QIWEI QILING RIKA SUSU❤ SANDY WILLIAM XIAOLING XAVIER ZHENGRUI

rosepaperheart

i carry your heart with me ♥ i'm never without it

October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011


i owe so much pics..haha
altho now oso no mood to really post..haiz..watver


one more HELL day..with a hell physic test..
damn lah..dun think i will read much...and i forgot about that card..gee

today the physics remedial so damn lame cold n funny lurhs
shaoyang is a wolf huh..?hahaha
wooooooooffffffffffffffff..haha
and zhao yang really acts very well..LOL XD

P.S there is no fairytales..but there is miracles

Sometimes people come into your life
Like they're meant to be
And suddenly you've found someone
Who sees the world like you see

And you laugh like crazy
At all the crazy things
That no one thinks are funny but you
That's when I knew
That I had a friend so true

If my world were crumbling down
You are the one I'd want around
Cause through everything you've shown me that
You were the one who had my back

Remember the laughs
Then add up the dreams
And take it to the nth degree
We'll be friends forever
Cause you'll be forever in my heart
That's where best friends are

There will always be hard times
I'm glad I've got you to see me through
And I will never forget your smile
I just have to say thank you

For being there always
Even the darkest days
Especially when you didn't have to
That's when I knew
I had a friend in you

So if your world should fall apart
Call me I'll run to where you are
I only hope that I can be
Half of the friend you've been to me

Remember the laughs
Then add up the dreams
And take it to the nth degree
We'll be friends forever
Cause you'll be forever in my heart
That's where best friends are


Where would I be
Without you by my side loving me
Anyone can see that we're the real thing

No matter what and always
Come whatever
We're best friends forever
Remember the laughs
Then add up the dreams
And take it to the nth degree
We'll be friends forever
Cause you'll be forever in my heart
That's where best friends are

ahmigod..
seriously unbelievable de lor..
erm..im stirin clear..

such a tirin day..urg..hate sch lahh..stupid forward track..
three more days..faster passs eh..
and i wan get bac my book sia...lols..
and again..watever lahhhhhh
fustrain lah..stirin clear..haha


geezz..watever man

cause you were romeo, i was a scarlet letter
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
but you were everything to me
and I was begging you please dont go and I said


romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all theres left to do is run
you'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
it's a love story, baby just say yes

gee..my stomach got problem i think gee
really la..i not hungry..but feel v uneasy
i got stomach ach three times today..
all is after my meal..
tho i din really eat dinner..hahaha
and..yea..im weird..hahaha
i do agree with tt..lols
and my hands still quite cold..lol
stupid library..aircon so cold for watt..
lalalalalalalalahh..
i hate feelin unwell..stupid..
stupid...i wan eat properly la..hiayoo
btw..i have the book ambition on my hands :D
haha..hope reed will be alright
or else i dun wan read le..haha


the concert is really v nice..
i was so wrong cuz i thought i will fall asleep..
more updatees tmr!!!hahaha : D


wth..i hate mrt in the mornin..i really hate it to the core..
it like not the first time eh..
o-m-g..i just met another disgustin pervert this mornin..
i took the mrt cuz i was runnin late..and the bus would take too..long
why i so sui de..the orange shirt guy..that old ah beh
and now this..damn lah..i hate mrt!!!!!
lucky i saw siqi..saved my dear life..
his face is just so damn urk...
im so disgusted by him....


btw..tell me when u dun wan be my friend anymore okayy..


okayyyyyyss..
its weird..really..
its really....i dunno how to describe..
anyway..its a pretty upsettin day for me
i dunno..quite sui ba..
in the mornin have stomach pain..
then head giddy..wan to faint..lucky i made through the morning assembly
i know..its no gd to have a breakdown there..but i really cant help it..
but somehow..ms tay made me laugh between the sobs..
and alicia!!!(my dear chairman)
i really admire n respect u..really..i cant believe ur so firm..
watever u said at the sickbay do make some sense..thanks alot :)
and janice my dear..another big thank :)
really..trust me i feel whole lot better after talkin to u :)

i would nvr have done tt..i did rather die than do such thing to a someone so special..
n yea i think qiling is right..haiz..
dunno lahhs..
i kinda already decided le bah..
totally unselfish :) will be my choice..
hahas..i rather be hurt myself than bein selfish n make things worse than it already was..

anyway..i almoost bought another chicken soup for the soul talkin faith
i dunno..i read one story..and really..
it is like talkin watever im feelin now...
in the end..she chose to trust god once more..
well..really..i dunno..maybe i sld too..dunno
i think tt story really touched me hahas..n yea i cried..
in lot one..i know its really stupid cryin there..but luckily
i have got my gettin-too-long fringe..hehehs
dun think anyone can see my face lols..
but then in library v emo... :X
anyways..then finally janice came..lols
btw i was waitin for her to buy wallet with me..
n really guess wat..we din buy the one we planned to buy at first
(she was v determined to get the bronze one n mine is red )
hahas we dint get tt at last..tmr u will know le..lols
i suddenly realise i dun really suit red..n she dun suit bronze
i think my idea not too bad uh?hahaha
see..in tt way..we can be both happy n not regret not buyin our 'color' haa

i kept it..tho at one moment..i really feel like throwin it away
lols..keep for the sake of memories bahh..yadayadayda

i did like to thank rika janice jianhui alicia qiling :) hahas








i admitt okayy..
the reason i am abit over reactin is cuz to me..
friends will forever be the most important thing in my life
tts cuz i had a rather sad childhood..
i dun actually remember playin with anyone(when i had a such gd memory)lols
all i remember was tt two twins and they moved away rather soon
all friends i had was probably my barbie dolls n my dear grandfather
n maybe tt baby..whom i dun quite like..
sometime..i will play hide n seek with myself
i will talk to myself n stuff when my grandfather plant his thing in the back garden
it is so saddenin to think abt it..
n my hse is rather isolated..just imagin..i live below a mountain with a sea near it
yes..its in city tho..but not the central of cuz..
the scenaray is v nice of cuz..but the bad thing is tt not much ppl of my age live there
i know tt sounds exaggerating but its true..
i grow up praticaly alone with my mom(she is always not around) n grandfather
i only went to kndergarden for two years..and i din like to go
i remembereed i cried everymornin for a month and die die also dun wan enter the sch
hahas the teachers sld had hated me too..makin me not cry was v diff
but there are some happy memories there too..
i liked the teachers tho..
since im used to playin with myself i was usually alone
tt probably explains why i am so bad at expressin my feelins
becuz i dun usually trust ppl when i was young
blah blah blah
and worse still..my mom always at work..throw me with my cousin
n gosh she bully me..can u even believe it..
i hate goin her hse n goin kindergarten (after she transfer to the same sch as me)
i hate her..i will never forget what she did n tt other older girl she ganged up with
they made me play the piano over n over again
screamin at me tt i was wrong when i cld remember tt tt was the way the teacher
taught me..(my knidergarten was a musical sch..thus we learn insruments)
i just dint get them..n they insulted me..seriously..just becuz they are my seniors..
only later i found out they did tt on purpose..wth
i cried all the way home..i hated them right then
luckily my mom found out n scolded my cousin..
therefore she din dare to bully me when my mom is there
but unfornately my mom was rarly around
thinkin bac..i think im so silly..i actually believeed her threatenings
and i din dare to tell me mom a single thing
and i cant even believe now tt she actually pushed me down the carpark tt day
i cld have hurt me head..i cld have died..
and alot other things she done to me but i dint dare to tell my mom
jealusy caused it i realised now..its a sin..
now when i visit her..she dun even seems remember anythin
she dint even know the fear n scars n hurt she caused in my heart
becuz of her i dun usually mix with girls when i grow up
i rather to be alone than to be hurt emotionally
i was afraid to get bullyed n hurt again..
i hate fights between girls..its scary
n to be honest again..my friendships was always not v stable
only now when im in sec sch..when i met u
at the v first day when reportin to bp for the first time
i knew the girl beside me would be a great friend..
really..trust me..i never found someone who shares so many interests as me
its really like a bigger sister..
finally now in the three years..i begun to put down the phobia of bein with girls
i begun to enjoy the fun to be with my girlfriends
slowly n slowly..i began to open up..
three years till now..we do hav up n down
n i cant say we were always peaceful
but somehow..we made it through..we were okay..until now
n i do wish to be okay too..
although i must say no one had hurt me this deep b4..
but tts becuz i really consider u as a friend and my bestie
to me..true friends are the most important thing in this saddistic world
just thinking bt the past lonely times send chills down my spine
no way i wan to be alone..(not tt i really appreciate havin a brother)
i know i really sound pathetic and have a deprived childhood
but somehow it is really true
the only one lucky thing is tt im born to be positive
i dun admit defeat easily..
but as im growin older..that positiveness n never give up mindset
is slowly wearing off..almost goin to disappear..
now..i really wan to give up everything..
i know its a crazy thought..but i really wan to jump into the sea
and rest in peace..i loved the sea..
its so peaceful n serene .. it will never ever hurt me..
never never hurt me...
yeah..i expained why i so overreact bah..
so dun think im crazy or like to exggerate things
to me this is a big issue...it can cuz me never get up again frm tt pit..
i will need so so loongg to get over this..longer than wat u will think
considerin i took almost ten years to get over my past..
it reminded me of all the sad childhood memories..
how she treated me..tts inhumane..
even now..i dun dare to look right in her eyes
there will always be a fear in her..
n really..maybe its the other way round..im not suppose to be in this world..
i dunno i just want to disappear like popin a bubble..
i wan peace...im tired..
im back where i started..haiz..can i ever get out of tt gloomy past?tt deep valley?


boys..no matter how important they are..when u break up..its all gone
but when a friend is gone its never comin back..never..ever..


i think im contradicting myself..
i told linqi not to give up..
n now..im givin up also..damn..
but what else can i do?
woke up this morinin forget bt last night n was happy
i was chattin with my mom when suddenly i realise sth
that fact hit me hard n cold
n suddenly everything else came rushin back..damn
i almost fainted..hiaz..

Love
Torture Hate
Memories of loved
Life of the forgiven
Keeping all of us disappointed

maybe now then i understood this..
its just in one day..tt matters and everything is changed


blow after blow..im sick n tired really..
u guys dun have to say sorry seriously
noone can control who they like..cant they?
heard of one line..?
sorry no cure...thats what exactly im feelin now..
i dont need any apologize..really..
and im not angry at either both of you
nth is wrong..only sth is wrong with me
im the one tt sld say sorry..
gratefully..im glad u dint tell me durin the exam period..really grateful

but i shall not be selfish n a hindrance..
hereby i sincerly wish and hope both of you all the best
and happily ever after.. :)

i dun wan to lose a friend too..somemore my best friend..
but i dunno i can make it or not..
for the future..
i have only one line to say..
QUE SERA SERA..



chalet..i dunno whether to wish it be be sonner or dread it..
23 more days..maybe i will change my mind..will i?
i will see how it goes in these few days..
neither do i wan to regret my decision too..gee
both of u did it...no wait..is life..life did it..

i dint wan say this here..but im really dreadin my diary now..
sorry..

p.s this kind of thing only happen in movies n dramas..
the next episode is predictable..isn it
but i really dunno abt this..lol

Love
Torture Hate
Memories of loved
Life of the forgiven
Keeping all of us disappointed

what the hell this means? lols

leadership trainin is so DAMN boring..and stupid
go there call us do role play wth..
waste out time n money..
like as if we cant held our bazaar without them
dun think they helped lurhs
i fall asleep even before she started explainin..
super tired..lols
and she is even dramatic than suzanna lee..unbelievable
lols
wellll..for the role play...
T2 de is the most funny and entertainin de lorhs
hahahaa gosh..the Asian scholars they so funny
romeoto and julieto LOLOLOL xD
thats seriously sounds so funny lolss....
our cls de so lame one..lols
anyway after tt went causeway point with susu :)
and erm..quite fun lah hahaha
n i think each-a-cup not bad somehow better than sweet talk lols
and yeah lorhs..metro not as fun as last time :P hahaha
after tt janice came n find us..lols
after susu left..me n janice went round n round tryin find tt bookshop
but i think its gone..lols.wast our time...lols



romeoto and julieto


1/9/05
hahahahhs..


hiazz...never give up ma...cheer upppp lah :]
yeah never give up..listen to [just stand up]
it really helps..jiayou my dear...
one min i saw ur blog..and the next you closed it down...

The heart is stronger than you think
It’s like it can go through anything
And even when you think
it can’t it finds a way to still push on,though ....
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you can go be your own miracle
If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be
questioning, wondering what is what
Don’t give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

sometimes its really discouraging...cold water poured down on ur head..
also refering to mrs poh..if u know what im talkin bt
..i did learnt sth for the past almost exactly one year
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP on everythings..no matter studies or others
if i think its correct..no one is gonna stop me...
annnnnnnnnndddddddd i beloeve i will pass a math one day!!!!
LOLS really..i almost get it le..hahahas..tho i fail this time bah :[
i really cant believe one year is gonna past so fast
its like my bday was just yesterday..hahahs
and really..yet so much happened..as if at least two years has gone by..
so much i learnt too..
these few days..i made quite a few conclusions...hahahs
to shen lao shi : wo zan fan xing ookayyyy...
lololllls.
i may like to daydream but i still think...
im NOT a comformist and NOT MILDRED!!!!
hahahaha
you just dont know me...im actually shocked tt u told me tt lols
anddd..i wan write so much out..afraid that i will forget later
but not v suitable here...blah blah blah..i better remember tmr
haiz..so lazy write diary..dunno why so lazyy lols
L-aaazzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyiinngg

anyway...today at hx hse was fun :)
hahas hmm i like play wii lols
the boxinw as damn tiring..hahahas susu n edmund cant hit me :P
tennis was fun too but confusin who is servin sometimes
the dancin one v fun !!! tho no one shake butts..lols
erm the sencor got problem...i cant go past level two hahah xD
badminton was kayy too..
haha wat else did we do?
ohh..spent a long time talkin too..
tmr..haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....hell day..
sweets and tissue..since when do they come tgt..
maybe for tmr n thu bahhh..spoil mood..haizz..
and tt remionds me..thu has choir!!!!!!!! wth...
lols..n i made an agreement with mr yong...haizz..so gonna borin
but i do miss my dolnald hahahahah.
i miss our crazy jokes n erm..duckylamejokes..lols
but anyway im curious if ducky got get fat or not..LOL
got fat more funnier more jokes for us to talk bt lols
i dunno why..but actually im afraid of him...haha

p.s have fun edmund!!! go holiday must bring bac things for us kayyyy
remember us 5 orh..haha

p.p.s gd luck everyone tmr..
haiz..im afraid i will cry lols

p.p.p.s erm..i just remembered sth..lols..just wanna to tell myself tt its not worth it
..that was afterall an excuse for urself..how could i believed it..

p.p.p.p.s goodnight..i wan sleep le.hahahs tmr mornin still have to find my scripts

p.p.p.p.p.s my heart will still go on :] that is when i love u :]

p.p.p.p.p.p.s paris is love..hahaha


i think im falling sick D :
why do i get sick at this time..unfair..
i wan go out de lurhs tmr..
haiizzzzz...so damn unfair
people changes dont they?
...hiaz..........


i feel like lyin in an open space and cound and watch stars..
im going all crazyy...i want to go to the sea to the ocean...
the rock..okay..chalet i will go there alone..i miss the sea..






bOOKS-.
omg i so need to read books...
tmr i will spend my afternoon at library..
bookk-craze..


literature.








yeyeyeyeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:D
hoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy:D
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
wooooooooooooohhhhooooooooooooooooooooo~
EndOfYear is so oveerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr:D
finally the stress over..but was damn disappointed in myself
haahahahhs..dun think i did well..
and markin days only two days hahahas
but at least better than nth lols
todays physic is killer...
and i heard zhaoheng said : so easy! not chalangin.. =.=
easy?!? wth lorhs..
mr siow the question so ....wat cha seiw pao...
wth lorhs lOls..haha
quess whahhtt..lols
i finished my section B n C in ten mins each..lols
see then skip then realise i only spend 1o min to do those i know.lols
others all anyhow crap..
hahahas.but physic not tt bad..afterall i kinda gave up ytd
lols.ytd moi susu n janice went 'shoopppin'
hahas not really but we saw some nice things at cotton on :)
hahahas..ytd was actually the over exam 4 me..i knew my phyics will screw up
watevers..but AMATH...another disappointment
i thought i did stand a chance to pass....hiazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :(
i studied...did the nearly whole 6G
but not bad at least i new how to do the identites questions :)
hahahas.but still feel sad tt now amath will also fail..
lols.and the teachers!!!!!!! they are so mean
all the ans doesnt look like correct ans
wastin my time check 3 q for almost 4 times each
and i just cant find wats wrong with my workin..waste my time..lOls
where got ans of midpoint in decimal de...

anways talkin bt today :) after the exam of course
hahahs.we went to AMK hub because we wanna go artbox :)
we bought almost the same things
except susu dint buy 4 herself lols
me n rika has matchin mickey mouse book :)
mine in pink and hers in green :)
hahas..janice was like i sld have gone home...lols
she isnt intersted ahaha.



after amk went to seoul garden lols
so many people lurhs haha
then i think its not exactly worth it because...
after like one hour plus i felt so damn full..then i tried to recall wat i ate
all i remember is my bowl of salad some cooked vege and teriyaki chicken
hahahas.i always seems to be cookin but i done remember i got eat them
and the drink not nice de.lols plum sth haha
i cooked for janice hahaha.
after tt my meat all give others le lols
i like ICECREAM tho hahas bingqiling <3 haaha
after ttt we went to buy friendship bands :)
mine is pink and a colorful de yey i like :)
it matches :) :D hotpink rawks ❤
lols i think janice super funny lurhs
she come out of the shop then : i have this! i bought this color de b4 ..why i buy again arh? LOLs.super funny..i had the black de too
ttt time volleyball everyone bought i think hahas
but long long ago dunno throw where le haha after tt we went to POPULAR
geee haha its like again...lols
but then i dint buy anythings hahahah tho im tempted to lol

hahas then we went to look at baby names
we really had a good laugh LOLOLOL
i saw the book [baby names]
then i said : iwan iwan
and janice was givin me a weird look cuz she thought i wan the pregnacy book LOL xD
hahahahahah..then we looked through names and meanin hahas
lulu means pearl :)
some how one way or another im always linked with the sea..haha im a fish too :) pisces)-(
four of us had new names hahahaha
mine is pearl :) susu de is respectful :) janice de is gracious :) and rikas de is sunset:)
hahahhahahs.
and some names so funny de lorhs..janice bro is a farmer..LOL


now its like so free.lols.no more studyin and tryin my damn best to concentrate.gee
hahahahs.

i know le..
tmr first thing i do in the mornin is update my diary :)
it had been exactly one full month since i last written..
...and i really wanted to change a new diary although tt one dint even started to use
i only used for around 10 pages..so wasted..i dunno..i just want to be sure..
finally..i dun owe any explaination anymore
hahahs i wrote it after watchin titanic last week i think..lols
suddenly got ling gan...
the last time lols